Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
