I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
