You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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