I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
