i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
FUCK WHALES
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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