take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize