Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."

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(770): View more from Georgia

i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.

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(319): View more from Iowa

i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.

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(406): View more from Montana

Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!

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(289): View more from Ontario

I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN

(416): View more from Toronto

HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN

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