.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
