O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
