he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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