You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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