Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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