But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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