We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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