Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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