Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
