Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize