He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
