my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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