Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
