I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
