im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
where are my eyebrows?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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