I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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