Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
