he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
