so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
