Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
