I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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