I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
