My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
