why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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