Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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