I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize