This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Randomize
