Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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