What a fucking waste of an outfit
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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