I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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