Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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