Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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