I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
