i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
