fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
