so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
