It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
