Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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