there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
