Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
