oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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