i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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