so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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