uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
