so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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