White coat. Heels.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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