that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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