So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
