There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
