dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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