what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
