Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
