i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
