Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
